So, I’m a very nice kid, well-behaved, polite and respectful. Some may even call me “courteous“ but for some reason, a lot of people… and I mean a lot, think me to be mischievous.
I like to think I am no more mischievous than any child my age. After all, there isn’t any harm in playing a few innocent pranks, here and there, right?
My name is Ibhade Ebe. I am 13 years old and in JSS 3 (what my abroad counterparts will call 9th grade). I am the 3rd of 5 kids and I have the best family ever.
My parents, Prof. and Mrs. Ebe are real African parents that not even all their degrees from the renowned universities they attended could change them.
Let me ask, is it just me or is it that most Nigerian parents, especially mothers, passed in flying colours a secret course they took on The Character of African Parents?
I ask because even the elders in my extended family and some of my friends parents’ seem to exhibit the SAME traits as my parents.
For example, you can’t engage my parents, particularly my mom in any conversation without her inputting African proverbs or adages in the gist.
The other day, my siblings and I were watching the Netflix series, Warrior Nun. We were so engrossed in the movie, that we didn’t hear mom come in. Have you watched it?
Remember the scene where Ava ran away from the “convent” with the Halo still embedded in her back and she gave herself to be “scienced” by Dr Jillian who had been looking for a way to get at her powers for selfish reasons?
My siblings and I were quick to kick Ava to the curb. I mean, how could she be so impatient and not wait for the nuns to help her understand her new-found abilities? Instead, she was quick to give herself to Dr. Jillian who needed her for her own selfish purposes?
While we were attacking Ava, we heard mom say in vernacular English, “Dem say river full, you go dey piss put” (Translation – Out of the frying pan into the fire).
We almost died laughing. Apparently, she had been watching for some minutes for her to get the gist of the movie and she was right because at that point in time, we thought Ava just made the situation worse.
What I don’t understand is how mom is quick to input an African adage into a random conversation . Like how does she even do it?
Another time, my eldest sister, Arele and I just came back from an outing to find mom seated outside, under the Bush Mango tree, reading Daily Manner (I know, right?)
After greeting her, we asked why she was outside. “Is there no light?”
We were expecting to hear her say she just wanted to take fresh air but the woman wasn’t giving us any of that.
“Dem tie King hand and leg, you dey ask am whether home good” (Literal meaning – if all is well, the King’s limbs wouldn’t be tied). Invariably, she was saying if there was light, why would she be outside?
How these African parents are quick to insert adages into situations is really baffling. Everyday in my house is a comic show.
I love my family .